Put the NFL on the Bench

Take a deep sigh, everyone, because football is over for the time being. All we have left to hold onto are the annual story lines of "Favre-Watch," "Who will be stupid enough to sign T.O. this year," and "Which quarterback will get a ridiculously overpriced contract in the 2010 NFL Draft."

But, don't fret my friends. Because, if we're lucky;

• The Redskins might sign an overrated free agent to a historically high contract

• Kurt Warner will finally retire and we'll get to officially watch Matt Leinart fail on center stage

• Favre will fake an injury to excuse his final interception of the season and future return to the Vikings after training camp

• We'll get to watch everlasting coverage of college grads running routes and blocking dummies and Mel Kiper's 20th mock draft of the week. Why don't we let football go? Just for a couple months. It won't hurt that bad.

Yes, you may cry yourself to sleep every night, but it's better than watching 24 hours of ESPN analysts analyzing each other's analyzations of the back-up left guard from West-Central Louisiana Tech University.

The Washington Capitals lost their first game in 14 contests. Syracuse has been dominating the basketball world since being shunned from the NCAA Tournament 2 out of the last 3 years. North Carolina Basketball is in turmoil. The Olympic National basketball team roster has been announced. These are all more intriguing things to think about than Mel Kiper's projected 5th round selection by the Cincinnati Bengals in the NFL Draft.

Come on, coach, take NFL out of the game and put him on the bench for a while.

Brett Favre - Love or Lust?

If Brett Favre needed any more motivation to beat the Packers Sunday night, 70,000 fans gave it to him. As Favre took the field that fateful evening, those that once praised him as the savior of Green Bay, named their children after him, prayed for him on Sunday mornings, and wore his jersey in adoration joined in unicen to "boo" the player that brought the Packers out of the stone age.

17 years ago, no one gave a crap about the Packers. They were coming off two straight losing seasons (6-10 and 4-12). (Vince Lombardi winning Superbowls 2000 years ago doesn't count. Football fans want wins in THEIR lifetime) Then, a drunken wreck of a person (nevertheless an NFL quarterback) is traded for a pack of matches and a tooth pick, so the Falcons can get him off their payroll. Owner Ron Wolf even had to tell the trainer to pass Favre on his physical regardless of the results.

What'd that drunk do? He won you 9 football games that year and gave you THIRTEEN straight winning seasons after that. Favre had one losing season with the Packers in 2005 and 2 years later brought them back to an NFC Championship game. Yeah, he threw a most crucial interception, but he got you there.

The next year, Ted Thompson tells Favre that he can back up Aaron Rodgers. The quarterback that gave them 15 winning seasons and a Superbowl can back up the new guy. And Packers fans are going to blame Favre for wanting out?

I think Packers fans booed because they felt they had to boo or they wouldn't be loyal to Green Bay. Well, Brett Favre IS Green Bay. Brett Favre eating breakfast is more interesting than Aaron Rodgers flying to the moon and back on a silver spoon with WiFi and meeting God along the way, only to inform America that the Man Above does nothing but smoke marijuana all day and watch reruns of Golden Girls on his 77,000 inch LCD screen (also with WiFi).

Brett Favre will unretire every year 2 weeks before the regular season and beat Green Bay twice a year until every soul in Green Bay gets down on their knees and begs him to retire a Packer.