Alexander Ovechkin has been suspended by the NHL for his FANTASTIC hit on Michalek in Sunday’s game against the Penguins. Apparently, sweet hits that bash the opponent’s head into the glass are frowned upon in this establishment. Possible disablement is a small price to pay for skull-crushing blows to the head. Let them play, sir. Ovechkin will miss 3 games and over $150,000. The Capitals host the conference leading Boston Bruins tomorrow. If you missed the hit, you’re lucky to have it at your disposal right down there.

It doesn’t matter how you played in the AFC Championship, Joe Flacco. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re a good quarterback or whether everyone else thinks you’re good or not. All that matters is your dumb-ass, hillbilly, handlebar mustache. I couldn’t focus on your play because I had to watch your irresponsible facial hair choice in HD. And don’t do interviews after the game until you shave. Thanks.

The 49ers completed ONE third down the ENTIRE game. Also, Kyle Williams fumbled away any chance of San Francisco pulling that game out. TWICE.

The Washington Capitals went down 0-2 to the Penguins, scored 3 straight goals, then lost 4-3 in OT. The rivalry included many exciting moments, fights, comebacks, and overtime.

Kobe and Gasol had bad nights from the field as the Lakers lost their 3rd straight.

Jorge Posada will retire.

Virginia Tech upset Virginia in Charlottesville last night in a snoozer. The game had a great finish but, with a 23-19 score at half-time, unless you like watching missed shots, you could have done without the first 35 minutes of the game. The Cavaliers had 22 free throw attempts to the Hokies’ 7.